THE TESTOSTERONE

Yes, the testosterone. That just flew over my head as I dug holes for our newly purchased impatiens. It started with the Righty's big scary dog barking. The fence isn't very sturdy and he was growling by it, so I got a little scared, and told him to shut up. The barking continued, but I had things to do. A few minutes later, Lefty/nosy-neighbor, stepped out on his 3rd floor porch and tried to start conversation / a whine-fest about the barking. I shrugged, smiled and said, "Well, ya know, dogs bark." A few more minutes passed, and then Righty himself came out. Lefty hurled his complaint over our yard to Righty. Righty snapped back. Lefty said Righty didn't take care of his dogs and they were filthy "like his yard without grass" Righty defended he doesn't have the sunlight to grow grass. Lefty referenced Righty's 3 foot dreadlocks. Righty called Lefty a racist. Lefty said white people had dreads also. Righty told the guy to go to --- and that no one liked him. Lefty shot back. Righty said the reason people in our apartment always move out because of him. His rebuttal was ditto.

At this point I thought hey maybe I should go inside, maybe this isn't safe. But I'm such a damn voyer, and I didn't want them to think I was scared of their bickering. So I kept on planting. Due to my strategic position, I was unlikely to sustain injury if either of them took out a gun. Lefty tried to engage me at one point with "hey lady don't you hate his dogs? and his nasty dreads? and his dirty yard?" I just said "I'm staying out of this!" and they moved on in their conversation.

They continued to sling accusations of filth, trash in the front yard, unemployment, nosiness, racism, loser-hood... Lefty said he could call the cops, Righty claimed he has a friend at the police station, Lefty called him cop-gang-corrupt...

I finished my last flower, gathered my tools, lest I be accused of backyard filth and gingerly walked up our porch steps and ducked inside.

A few days ago I thought this blog may fade due to monotony. Thanks, neighbors, not boring one bit.